Sunday, September 30, 2012

Winners Do Quit Especially on Mondays

I quit my job last week, the job I've held for ten plus years, the only constant in my life, really the only refuge I had in this city. Some days I was bored with my job. Some days I really loved it. I am grateful and truly blessed that I never ever hated my job. I worked in the financial industry (and technically still am doing that until the end of the month) and was surrounded by smart, interesting, caring people that became my family in a lot of ways.

Whenever I meet someone, I pretty much know very early on if I'll be their friend for life or if they will vanish into internet oblivion, maybe seeing a FB status update once in a while. Many of my coworkers became those childhood friends you have that you see after a decade and instantly click with. I was that lucky. Maybe it's because we all didn't plan to be where we are and just sort of ended up there. We all for the most part have similar values, as I presume is the case in other industries. We all had our other lives. One was a ballerina, another a guitarist, photographer, farmer, baker, minor league baseball player, professional skier,...... And yeah of course I was bored more than I wanted to be, I needed more stimulation, I was surrounded by grey felt walls and an open cubicle. Why am I looking back on these ten years, reminiscing with rosy colored glasses when deep down I knew I needed to leave? 

Someone once told me, 'Be careful at what you are good at, because you may do it for the rest of your life'. And it's true, once I gave notice of my leave I realized how out of the blue this was for everyone. How I could have stayed there for another decade doing what I do best, negotiating, calculating, analyzing, learning a bit about every aspect of the field. 

So I decided to leave in order to shake things up. I decided to go to India, a place that has been on my mind for years. But mostly I decided to leave NY. I regret not making this decision sooner but such is the curse of being blessed with a stable job. You get sucked in not even knowing if you want to be in this city. You just keep going living each day trying to change small things, hoping for one big change. But in the end I knew I had to really bite the bullet. 

I was emailing with a friend who got laid off the other day and he described the situation perfectly. He said, no matter what happened in that week, he always knew he could go to work on Monday and everything would be ok.  So in a few weeks, I won't have that Monday I always had. But I'm hoping I'll have something a lot more valuable - no regrets.

The Plan Begins

T minus 4 weeks until I leave for India. I snuggle into bed every night with my Lonely Planet and dreams of chai tea and heavenly scenery. I'm so giddy I can barely sleep. For the first time in a long while I'm able to enjoy NY, knowing I won't be here for much longer. I'm eating at all of the restaurants I've been meaning to try out for the past ten years. Blue Ribbon sushi is next on the list. I shrug off every unpleasant subway moment. I don't sweat the small stuff anymore. This is what it's like to change your life course. It's a good feeling.