Upon Landing

The first thing you notice when you land in Delhi is not the mayhem nor the poverty, grim nor grit that I was heavily warned about. It is the stench. This sulphur-ey, musky, hard to identify strong smell that hits you over the head the minute you step outside the plane.

I was surprisingly calm when I landed at 3am. I had a stop over in Abu Dhabi from NYC and the flight was one of the more pleasant ones I have been on. Maybe it was the week of sleep deprivation prior to the trip combined with the emotionally taxing and endless goodbyes to many I will probably never see again, but the exhaustion finally set in and I was out for pretty much most of the two legs.

I had been expecting that scene in every Indian movie where the westerner is amidst complete chaos upon landing smack in the middle of an explosion of sights, sounds and smells. Maybe it was because I landed in the middle of the night, but it was really nothing like that. I managed to get a prepaid cab like I was instructed to do by my savvy traveler friends, and even with minimal traffic the carride managed to scare the living hell out of me. We squeezed in between trucks and nearly hit into rickshaws and at one point crashed into the road barrier pretty hard. I shrieked, asking the driver if the car was ok and worried he would leave me out on the highway in the outskirts of Delhi. He did not seem phased in the slightest and we kept right on going.

I waited a few hours at the hotel for my room to be ready (and actually am still doing that now) and tried to kill some time reading on my kindle with my new Brookstone portable flashlight that my parents gave me which has been the most valuable little device I have ever taken on a trip. I wandered around the hotel a bit. There were hotel workers (I assumed they were at least) passed out on the floor of the lounge, the lobby and I almost tripped over yet another body when I went up to the roof. People here seem pretty lax about their sleeping accomodations.

On the roof I was able to see the cityscape for the first time, the haziness from the pollution, the shabby buildings, the mosques and temples poking out in the distance. It was eerily quiet except for the early morning prayers coming from all directions and a chilly breeze that made me shiver. It really does feel like another world.  

Boozy Goodbyes

My closest friends from the past ten years came together and threw me a surprise dinner party this evening, thanks to 2 of my nearest and dearest friends who planned everything. Fuck, I cried about four times. I can complain until the cows come home about how much NY sucks, but one thing that will be next to impossible to replace are the special people here. You may not see them very often, barely even once a year (if that), but they are with you and in a big cold city, these are the people who carry you through. I love you guys.

On a sidenote, I've given up sobriety until I leave for India. Saying goodbye to people apparently turns you into a raging alcoholic and I've officially stopped fighting the big fight. I'll detox in the Himalayas or something.

Upstate one last time

Foliage time here in the Northeast. I'll miss this for sure.

On Traveling Solo

Anyone who has traveled solo knows the pros and cons of being alone in a foreign country. The pros being you have complete freedom, you don't have to compromise on anything, you don't have to worry about putting your bad mood on anyone, you can really take the time to think about things, learn to be comfortable with yourself, learn to have fun with yourself. It's also much easier to meet interesting people when you are alone. I'm not the most extroverted person in the world by any means, but I do love meeting open minded and adventure seeking people, finding out their story, what they have learned, what they want to find. Traveling alone can be a very rich learning and confidence-gaining experience on many levels.

The cons being you often feel lonely, frightened, and vulnerable especially in the east where as a westerner there is no way of blending in. As a female lone traveler, constantly being aware of your safety can be a constant source of stress. Also, being an American can be really annoying because you have to deal with a lot of anti-american stereotypes and on top of that I'm not one of those apologetic travelers who likes to pretend they are Canadian. It never ceases to amaze me how often someone will bash America right to my face as if it's pretty much hell on earth. And it's not the locals who do this. Usually it's other western travelers who swear by the BBC and are convinced Americans want to kill old people off prematurely with our horrible healthcare or something. They will accuse Americans of being the most racist people on earth, the irony being they are often traveling in a country that sells whitening creams in every corner drug store. I'm not looking forward to spending election day away from home as I imagine it will only be that much worse. I wish I could be with my good friends on that day and watch swing state results come in. But it looks like I'll be in Rishikesh which is the new-age yoga capital of the world and the chances of finding someone who doesn't hate America are probably slim to none. Oh well.

However with all of the cons, the hope of course is that the pros outweigh them -- that I find clarity in the midst of chaos, knowledge and inspiration in the midst of unfamiliarity, and friendship and connection in the midst of being alone.

I See Updates

I got enough vaccines yesterday to immunize a small African country. My biceps hurt like a SOB to the point at which I can barely even dress myself. More doctors appointments today. A lot of prodding and poking and needles in my life right now.

I also saw a Kabbalah-ist fortune teller (prophet? astrologer? Not sure what the label is) last night who someone recommended for me out in Queens. I went with a 'what the hey' attitude as I'm not one to put faith in this stuff but I do have the belief that some people have a special ability to see things. If she wasn't one of those people, well, I got a good falafel in Queens out of the process. I didn't really know what to make of her. She guessed correctly which day of the week I was born, knew I was a fall baby, and knew that I had an African carving in my living room (which she told me to throw away immediately as it was giving me bad luck). She guessed correctly the names of people who were in my life and very dear to me. She also guessed initials of cities I was thinking of moving to. In the end I got a positive fortune, a few blessings and a filling meal so overall I guess it was worth it.

Pre Trip Anxiety

My family is officially freaking out that I'll be traveling alone in India. I can't really handle the stress so I'm trying to cut off contact as much as possible before my trip which is something I did not want to do. I might even lie to them and tell them I got a travel partner at the last minute just to make my life less of a living hell. I know, I know. They are just worried. I should be happy my family gives a shit. This is inevitably what happens when you are unmarried, live in close proximity to your family, and are the youngest child. Looks like I'll be doing a lot of drinking in the next few days. May as well eat a lot of red meat as well since I'll be animal protein deprived for a while.

The Yoga Post

I've been doing yoga for about five years now. My very first yoga class was a Bikram class and looking back on that I'm not sure what I was thinking. Bikram is a California-esque version of hatha yoga (which is a lot of holding poses for what seems like forever), is in a really hot room, and is pretty much the opposite of what I now look for in my current practice. I get bored pretty easily so I like constant movement and flow in my yoga practice as well as a non-torture-chamber-like room temperature. 

I heard about Ashtanga from a few people and was intrigued. They had all warned it was a much more rigorous form of yoga. I'm not one to shy away from a physical challenge so I signed up for led=Ashtanga class downtown. I got there 20 minutes early and lay my mat down in the middle of the class, off to the side, my 'safe' place where I can follow the person in front of me and get lost in the crowd. But as the class started I realized there was different set up than what I'm used to. Everyone faced the middle of the class, the instructor didn't ask if there were any beginners, everyone looked serious, intense, not ready to tolerate a newbie. I was nervous. Should I tell the instructor I had never done ashtanga? I don't speak a lick of Sanskrit? I'm not sure I'm physically able to do this? I'm really really scared, help me????

I faked my way through the class. As people were doing what seemed like advanced acrobatics, I kept a steady pace a few breaths behind everyone, tried to breathe and tried to maintain my sense of humor. And to the instructor's credit, she did too. She helped me with many adjustments and maneuvering and created a calm and supportive atmosphere. I could barely make it through the class but by the end I knew I was hooked. I wanted to learn the sequence and what 'shabta' meant and I wanted to be absorbed into that meditative state without worry of what comes next. 

I went home and did a youtube search and found a great retro video of Sri K. Pattabhi Jois (the revered ashtanga guru ) leading the primary series. There's a bunch of western students in the video who all have insane bodies and 80's style lycra outfits. Jois instructs in Sanskrit and it is tranquil and meditative while being intense at the same time. It's everything I hoped for in a yoga class right in my own living room! I'm hoping to really focus on Ashtanga once I get to India.

Moving On

I found out last week from facebook that someone I knew from childhood died. She was 33 years old and apparently had some sort of critical illness she was battling. From the little I knew of her, she was a real angel (and I do not use that word lightly nor often). Just one of those kind-hearted people you rarely come across, completely unselfish, maybe even to a fault.

Her older sister was a close friend of mine growing up and to this day is one of the strongest people I know. She is that friend I'll always look back on who first encouraged me to sneak out of the house in the middle of the night, to get drunk on school grounds, to flirt with that cute guy without fear of rejection.

She is maintaining her strength and resoluteness now and being the leader she is, encouraging everyone to not just live your life like you are dust in the wind, to get to know people, make impressions in your circles, to not waste your precious time hating on anyone. A good reminder for everyone who sometimes feels like they are in a metaphorical waiting room.

Waiting in Waiting Rooms

One good thing about knowing that your health insurance will end is that you take care of all that shit you've been putting off. In the past two weeks I've easily been to more doctor's appointments than perhaps the past two years. I got a full check up (who does that anymore?), did my annual pap smear, got a dental cleaning, a few wisdom teeth removed (and survived!), went to the allergist and finally, the Podiatrist. This was my first ever visit to a podiatrist. At some point in the waiting room I was convinced the doctor would laugh at me because my problem was so minor (corns, or maybe a bunion, or just a callous? Who knew).  It turns out I have a hammer toe corn and he shaved off so much skin that I now feel like I have a smaller shoe size.

Wow, this blog is getting boring.

3 weeks and 2 days till I fly out.

What to do??

My dilemma as to how long to stay in India was just resolved. After what seemed like hours of tortuous elevator music the American Airlines reservation woman told me I can change my return ticket even after I depart. I can't make a decision to save my life so any assistance in procrastination by an airline is a plus in my book.

I'll be flying Etihad Airlines the entire trip with a stopover in Abu Dhabi. I've heard good things about Etihad. Not sure about the booze situation on the flight yet.

Dragging

These next few weeks at home are most certainly going to drag. My work days are mainly spent researching my trip. I've decided to head up north even though it will be chilly up near the mountains. It seems romantic in a way, the snow capped himalayas drinking hot chai. I feel guilty for not doing any job research but I keep telling myself I deserve a break.